


The Forgotten Mission

by KrissyK



Category: Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, M/M, Memory Loss, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-28
Updated: 2015-10-08
Packaged: 2018-04-23 19:08:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4888588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KrissyK/pseuds/KrissyK
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the Winter Soldier pulls Steve from the Potomac River he struggles with trying to piece back is life together. As he regains his memory, the memory of another face haunts his dreams as he remembers a forgotten mission. Will Steven be able to help his friend regain his memories and save him from his nightmares of will the winter soldier be trapped in the cold forever?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

     He didn’t know who he was anymore; they had stolen that away from him. He thought he took back his freedom but he knew that too wasn’t the case. The only thing he took back was a name. A name that even the devil himself couldn’t strip from his head. Steve. Also known as Captain America; his old mission. The man had started this all, or perhaps he ended it.  
Captain America was his mission but Steve was his friend and when it came down to it, he just couldn’t kill the man. He could break the man’s bones, make the man bleed all over his metal arm but he couldn’t end his life.

  
     “I’m with you to the end of the line…” The man had said, before falling into the water below. He knew that the man might have died if he left the man in the water. He should have just left him at the bottom of the Potomac River, but thoughts of falling into the called, the sound of a train speeding away and the yell of a name had the Winter Solider diving into the water below.

  
      So here he was, with half his caretaker’s dead and the other ones hot on his tail. His arm was in need of repairs and he felt utterly lost, and the feeling was terrifying just as it was almost…exciting? He had never had this much freedom before in his entire life, from what he could remember, which wasn’t much. He mostly just remembered the cold and the pain and the blood…

  
     Shaking his head the Winter Solider moved forward, careful to stay in the shadows. Finding Captain America…no Steve was easy enough. The man was trying his hardest to locate him but he always stayed just out of reach. He wasn’t ready to be found yet. He needed to think first. He wanted to be sure he wasn’t going kill Steven the moment he got close enough, that would really defeat the purpose, so he waited and watched from a far.

  
     Steven had a friend along with him, The Winter Soldier remembered him easy enough, and he remembered yanking the man’s fake metal wing from his back, sending the man crashing down.

  
     “Steve I don’t know about this, he did try to kill you, everyone really the last time we saw him.” The man said as he placed a hand on Steve’s shoulder, so big in comparison to Steve’s friend.

  
     “I know Sam but he didn’t…He didn’t want to do it. I’ve known Bucky all my life and he’s the only solid thing I know for sure about anything ever. He pulled me from the water and it’s my turn to pull him from the cold.”

  
     Could Steve really do that, pull the winter solider from the cold that has been etched so deep that it coats his veins? If the winter solider could laugh he would figure he would do so now. Steve was a mixed cocktail of naivety and blind optimism, just like America itself. He had no idea what the world was actually was like and if he did perhaps he wouldn’t go shouting about how he wanted to save the world. At east Hydra got one thing right, the world wasn’t worth saving, it was worth destroying. Never in all the history of mankind had the human species given anyone a reason to save them. They were the toxin amongst the rest of the species and the winter soldier was made to terminate them. Mission…what is my mission…


	2. Chapter Two

 

     The rain had picked up quite a bit since the Winter Solider had went back to the hovel he was using as a base. It was serving its purpose as any base should, a place to hold his weapons. The Winter Soldier could not remember needing sleep or food, only kill…kill…kill. 

     Shaking his head from the thought he looked out window, it was a good exit if need be but he liked to stick to the shadows, it was safer there. The Winter Soldiers base wasn’t far from where Steve was staying, it was actually right across from the cramped hotel room he was sharing with his friend, whose code name was now remembered. The Falcon…he was no threat to Captain America, he had done the math. Still it didn’t help but to watch over the blonde haired man, people could do just about anything when pushed to the limit. 

     Steve was currently sleeping in his portion of the hotel room, his large body draped across the bed, the mattress probably caving in to the massive weight of the man. The Winter Soldier had felt the power of that man but he could tell he was still holding back at the end. When he finally said he wouldn’t do it, that he would no longer fight him because he was his friend. How could Captain America be friends with a person, no machine like him? The Winter Soldier had no friends, only targets. His contact list was an array of people he had sent to hell, none of which came crawling back. 

     Tightening his fists, his human hand going pale while his mechanical one making strange noise that it hadn’t yet done. He hadn’t been the one to do the repairs on the arm itself before but he knew how to do basic things in case it got damaged during a mission. He had done the best he could when he first pulled Steve from the water, having to shove the metal arm in a machine he found at auto shop to twist it himself before popping it back in place. He hadn’t screamed when he had done so but the cold sweat that coated his skin after told tales of how much it had hurt. 

     Pain was one of the many languages the Winter Solider could speak, they had etched it in the very cells of his body. He himself had spoken the language to thousands, to faces that all melted together in a blur of nothing but crimson blood and white bone. The crunch and cracks from bodies under his metal hand, never tainting the shine from his arm that burned bright in his eyes. It blinded him in his dreams, and all he could do was watch the same horror movie get played in his head day in and day out. The same dream every time…of a scream, the bile spilling from his mouth and the feeling of complete and utter hopeless. Some days the winter soldier envied guns, at least they didn’t have to see it all when they took the shot. All evidence was removed from a gun, the Winter Solider was no gun, he was the bullet. 

~

     Shaking himself from his mind the Winter Soldier was thankful to the loud noise he heard come from outside. Slowly moving across the wooden floor like a cat, soundless he grabbed his handgun and knife. The gun he had before, his knife as stolen from a local deli shop. It was a crude thing but it would do in case of an emergency. The Winter Soldier could kill anything with it if need be and that’s all that mattered.

     Leaning against the window seal, The Winter Soldier looked out the window and saw a man who he hadn’t noticed before in Steve’s room and he was approaching with a gun. Not even hesitating, the Winter Soldier launched himself from the window and down onto the fire escape. Cranking up his hand he threw the knife towards Steve’s hotel window. He didn’t think he could hit the man at that angle but at least he would alert Steve. The mission…protect the mission.

     Rushing up the steps of the fire escape he launched himself towards the short distance between the buildings and landed inside someone else’s room. He ignored the freighted screams of the person who was currently sleeping and marched outside the room, he landed a floor above Steve’s. He knew Captain America could handle himself but what happens if there were to many people after him? The Winter Soldier wasn’t willing to find out. 

     Rushing down the hall and down the stairs he made his way to Steve’s room, the door was wide open and he could here fighting from inside. Slowing his breathing the Soldier slowed his breathing and moved through the shadows, the words protect the asset running through his head. 

 

 

 


	3. Chapter Three

     Walking towards the right, into the small area where Steven made copious amounts of hotel coffee, the Winter Soldier picked up a small can of coffee and rolled it towards the living area of the hotel room. It didn’t take long, only a few seconds really before the trained people who were sent after Steve went towards the direction of the noise. They men were trained, but they weren’t trained well enough.

  
     Sliding across the wall, the Winter Soldier grabbed the first assassin and crushed their wind pipe easy with his metal arm before using his flesh arm to stab the other agent in the neck. Blood quickly squirted onto the Winter Solder but he was so used to the sensation it felt more familiar to him than shower water.The Winter Soldier than wasted no time but to quickly move towards Steve’s room, stepping around Steve’s friend who was on the floor. Dead or unconscious, that wasn’t really the Winter Soldier’s problem. Find Steve and make sure he’s still breathing. That was all that mattered.

  
     When he got to Steve’s room, the blonde man had just tossed a man towards the doorway, causing the Winter Soldier to side step before kicking his leg out. The assassin hit the ground hard before the Winter Soldier turned to step down on the man’s windpipe, killing him as well. Three dead…bedroom clear…

  
     Captain America was breathing hard as he looked around the room. He himself had taken down two men, one of which was the man who was going to kill Steve while he was asleep had the Winter Soldier not warned him by throwing the knife. The broken glass laid over the floor from the window like weeds in an unkempt garden.In the darkness it was hard to see but the Winter Soldier’s eyes had been trained for these conditions. Steve’s eyes were incredibly blue as they stared at him. Eyes that were so soft did not belong to be geared in his direction.

   
     “You warned me...with the knife.” Steve said, his voice still thick from just waking up moments ago. The Winter Soldier said nothing as he watched the man…his mission speak. “That’s the second time you’ve saved me Buck. Recently anyway, you used to get me out of a lot of trouble back then to. Do you remember that?”

     The Winter Solider just blinked in response.

  
     “I suppose you wouldn’t but don’t worry it was a long time ago. I…I guess I should say thank you, and I guess ask you a question. How, no that isn’t it either. I know you’ve been watching me. I didn’t tell Sam because I knew he would just want to try and bring you in and call this rescue mission over.”

  
     He had known? The Winter Soldier was sure that he had kept a large enough distance for the bigger man to not realize what was going on around him. Was he losing his touch?

  
     “Don’t look so surprised, all this super solider isn’t just muscle. I can pay attention to detail.” The Captain had said but the Winter Soldier’s mind was sliding elsewhere.

  
_“Wow Stevie you really got the detail down perfectly. I didn’t know you could make me look any better.”A sixteen year old Bucky Barnes told his best friend and partner in crime, Steven Rogers. Steve currently had his only pencil hanging loosely in his hand as he stared down at the sketch pad Bucky had got for him just a few months ago for his birthday. Bucky had worked every single day that summer to save up enough money for that present and all the aches in his bones and meals missed were worth the bright smile Steve had given him. His eyes were so blue that day too. Bucky could remember just wanting to drown in those eyes…_

     A thumping sound startled the Winter Soldier from his thoughts. Turning around quickly he saw Steve’s friend slowly coming too. When the Winter Solider looked at Steve he could see the sad smile on the man’s face. He knew he was leaving.

  
“It’s okay Bucky…you’ll come back when you’re ready won’t ya?” Steve asked, his old accent sliding back into place. Just an old scrawny kid from Brooklyn…

  
    The Winter Soldier gave the man no promises as he rushed towards the broken window and leaped from it, down and down he landed on the edges of window seals with his metal arm before landing on his feet like a cat. The Winter Solider rushed into the night, the words Steve said playing over and over, as they mixed with other memories. _You’ll come back won’t ya? Report…Report…Report…_


	4. Chapter Four

 

     The Winter Soldier didn’t stop running for miles, he didn’t stop when his lungs hurt, nor when the muscles in his legs began to quiver. He stopped at the edge of the city, to the sign that read, “Thank you for visiting Washington D.C.” the sign was an obnoxious thing that he would have no problem destroying but just staring at it made him think of Steve. 

     “You’ll come back when you’re ready won’t ya?” 

     God how the Winter Soldier wished he never saw that man again. He knew what he was supposed to do before, he followed a mission and then it was gone and he did it over again. He did that, but that was wrong because even before that he did something else…was someone else. 

     “Let’s hear it for Captain America!”  a voice so foreign yet so familiar said, a voice that once came from his own mouth.  Now his mouth spit angry Russian and sometimes switched to an accent that belonged to a James Buchanan Barnes but that voice only came out when he was screaming… 

     Breathing hard, the Winter Soldier began the long walk back because there was nothing for him out there. Just a lost past, a non-existent future and a bleak present day. Steve…

     He wanted to be ready but how could he when his mind told him to eradicate the target every day. Was it possible to just let the man help him without killing the man in the process? The Winter Soldier wasn’t sure how many times hydra had broken him and put the pieces back they way they wanted. How could he remember where to start when they already stole the map from his mind?

     The Winter Solider had gone to the museum they set up about Captain America and in turn James Barnes. It seemed that wherever Steve Rogers went, James Barnes followed. 

      _I'm with you til the end of the line_

     What did that even mean, hadn’t that line already been crossed. Steve Rogers lost his friend when he fell off that train, the train that sent James Barnes into hell, and had the Winter Soldier crawl out. 

     Pausing to lean against a building the Winter Soldier looked up at the sky. It was cold out and his breath intermingled with the frosty air around him.  It would be winter here soon and he…he hated the cold. 

     The cold reminded him of dark cramped spaces with screams…so many screams that ripped his throat raw and if he listened enough he heard a scream that didn’t just belong to him. It was much too feminine to be his. Well that was new. He hadn’t had time to remember things like that.  Remembering things hurt his head, made him weak. Busy…he needed to keep busy.  

     Making his way back towards the hotel Steve was at the Winter Soldier made a move towards the space he was staying at himself. He knew Steve would be moving soon; it wasn’t safe for either of them here now. 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
